Parents to be Ofsted inspected during teachers’ strike
Education secretary Michael Gove has announced that Ofsted, the school inspection body, would continue its work unhindered by the disruption that today’s teachers’ strike will cause. ‘It’s only right...
View ArticleTeachers ordered to write ‘I Will Not Strike Again’ a hundred times
The government has today announced that striking teachers will be given lines for failing to turn up to classes on 30 June. ‘Nearly 750,000 teachers bunked off lessons last week, and not one of them...
View ArticleDolly Parton to release ‘Nine to Three’ in support of struggling teachers
The single, a re-working of her 1981 classic ‘Nine to Five’, is to be released this week to coincide with the end of the summer term. It is hoped that it will raise awareness and much needed funds for...
View ArticleTeachers call for longer working day and shorter holidays for MPs
The National Union of Teachers has today proposed that MPs should work longer days and that their holidays should be significantly shortened. The changes would see their current 82-day summer break, or...
View ArticleUK schools to revert to Roman numerals, announces Gove
In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals. The idea...
View ArticleTeachers protest ‘Glee-style’
Evoking echoes of 1980’s Fame Academy and through the medium of interpretive dance, teachers throughout the land plan to don hot-pants, crop-tops and mortar boards in an act of solidarity and musical...
View ArticleGreening promises ‘3 C’s’– cooking, cleaning and checkout skills
To address a predicted skills gap in the UK labour market, Education Secretary Justine Greening has today announced curriculum reforms to help those bereft of the brains or pushy parents required to...
View ArticleExam Board to set new GCSE in cramming for exams
Teachers’ unions reacted with dismay today as the Midland Examining Group announced that, for GCSE courses starting from September 2018, it will begin offering a new qualification in ‘Test theory and...
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